I love black thongs
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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