no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
