he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
