Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
