Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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