just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
