two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize