well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
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I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
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according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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