So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
