the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
