Your dad touched me again.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
