She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
