So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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