Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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