so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize