so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
