I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
