Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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