He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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