I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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