i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
