i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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