it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
