a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
