im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
