I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
