There was a lot of him and a little penis
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
