try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
