Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
