I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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