why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
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Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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