Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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