that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
