I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
