bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Terrible idea I love it
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
