yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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