he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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