..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
