Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
