You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
