You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize