I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
