Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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