I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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