so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
