Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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