Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
