I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
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He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
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You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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