have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
