oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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