Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
