i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
