Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
