You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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