Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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