I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
