Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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