Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
tell me about the fingering
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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