so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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