Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Be still, my beating vagina.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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